


Crash Into Me

by Obeymepoptart



Series: Chaos is My Mistress [3]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Chaos, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Lord Diavolo is chaotic neutral, MC is Yuki, No beta we die like lilith, Shenanigans, chaotic MC is chaotic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26409244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obeymepoptart/pseuds/Obeymepoptart
Summary: MC is back to bringing chaos to the Devildom. This time with cookie sheets and sliding down stairs.
Series: Chaos is My Mistress [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850749
Comments: 15
Kudos: 118





	1. It's all fun and games, really.

You stretched your arms, and actually got up from your seat, trying to relieve some of the stiffness from your joints. You had been studying for what felt like hours for midterms. Despite popular belief, Satan was actually a terrible study partner. He hoarded all the books, and refused to let them out of his room. Which of course meant that you were forced to study in his room. Assuming that he didn’t kick you out for a transgression at some point. At this point, Mammon had been banned from your midterm study sessions for  _ asking too many questions.  _

You can’t say that you disagree with Satan, honestly. You’re much more focused without Mammon there, but after a few hours of grinding, you definitely felt restless.

“Pssst,” you mock whispered.

“I suggest that if you value your presence here, you do not attempt to gain my attention that way again. Ever,” Satan responded nonplussed.

“You want a snack? Because I’m getting hungry, and could use a moment to stretch my legs,” you said, ignoring his dire warning. You enjoyed tweaking Satan’s nose (to an extent, you still valued your life though). Also, you were not about to give into his high handed ways. Satan, like Lucifer, tended to want things on his own terms. Satan, like Lucifer, would have bristled at the comparison.

“I suppose refreshments are in order,” Satan said, closing his book. “A walk would not be amiss either.”

You grinned at the blonde, you just gave you a stern look back. Both of you headed to the kitchen hoping that Beel had not ransacked it bare. You were in luck, there were two packages of chips left. Satan put the kettle on for tea, and you kept poking around the cabinets for hidden stores of snacks, since each of the other brothers seemed to keep hidden caches of food all around the kitchen in a typically futile effort of finding it later. Nine of out ten times though Beel found it before any of the brothers was able to retrieve them, like a bloody bloodhound. You stopped when you reached the cookie sheets, and a wave of nostalgia overcame you. Back when you were a wee sprat, you had once upon a time used your mom’s cookie sheets to slide down the stairs in the house. For a split second, you were standing in your mom’s kitchen in grubby jeans, skinned elbows, about to start another one of your adventures which your parents swore shaved decades off their lives and gave them premature grey hair.

And you stilled, a giant lightbulb going off. Who are we kidding? It was more like a gigantic air raid siren, flashing red lights and a wailing BEE-RUU BEE-RUU repeatedly. You held up a cookie sheet and inspected it for a moment, with the same speculative air that would have made the six year old you proud.

“Thinking about baking?” Satan inquired amused as he brewed the tea. What a strange human you were. He was fascinated by you, since you seemed to toggle between an orderly mind that he certainly appreciated and a chaotic energy that rivalled Mammon’s schemes, which Satan was definitely on the fence about.

“Not at all,” you said distractedly. It looked big enough. Admittedly, the last time you had tried this you had maybe been six years old, and decidedly smaller in proportions.

Satan looked at you quizzically, and you just gave him your most shit-eating grin, which starting to have an almost Pavlovian response on the brothers you were currently living with, as Satan immediately perked up to full alert and gave you his undivided attention. “I have an idea.”

This seemed to give the blonde a pause. At this point, your chaotic nature was well-known, and while most of the time Satan enjoyed your antics and hijinks solely because it seemed to irk Lucifer so much, he also knew that there was the potential for a lot of damage to any bystanders of your plans. In this particular scenario, he was mainly worried about his own hide.

You walked out of the kitchen without saying another word. Satan decided to follow you, stuck between curiosity and trepidation. You stopped right in front of the top of the foyer stairs. You looked down and decided that you could probably survive the crash without breaking your neck. You hoped.

“Please tell me you’re not considering what I think you’re considering,” Satan, said with a note of warning, his eyes flitting between you, the stairs and the cookie sheet clutched in your hands.

“What do you think I’m about to propose?” you said, cocking your head as you envisioned your potential trajectory. Do-able until you hit the landing, where you will probably just crash straight into the wood. Unless...

“I think you’re about to slide down these stairs using a cookie sheet,” Satan deduced.

“Does it ever get boring being right all the time?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“I cannot in good conscience allow you to do this,” Satan said. “For one, you could injure yourself. Second, this seems incredibly unwise.” This would be absolute folly. He could already see the dire results, and he would likely be held responsible for being unable to dissuade you from your course of action, keeping you safe, and/or allowing it to even occur.

“Wait, wait, have you ever done this?” you turned to him.

“Of course not!” Satan looked mildly insulted. Really? Whatever possessed you to think that demons would slide down stairs on cookie sheets? What kind of ill-conceived notion was that?

“Huh! So you’re telling me that as an immortal being that is bigger, stronger, definitely has a higher pain tolerance, and can’t die from such a paltry injury, you or your brothers have never attempted this?” you asked, pointing out all the problems with Satan allowing you to go through your scheme.

“When you pose like that, it does seem incredibly ludicrous that we have not,” Satan admitted, since none of these were considerations for a demon. Who also happened to have access to magic. It just was so…. Childish. “Particularly Mammon, if we’re being honest,” he mused. Why hadn’t it occurred to at least one of them? Mammon did seem like the most likely candidate for such a ludicrous idea. 

“I used to do this as a kid, until my mom yelled at me for ruining her cookie sheets,” you admitted. A wave of nostalgia hit you for home, thinking of your childhood and your mom. You missed her, and the longing was a physical pain. You wish you could hug her, smell her hair, and have her gently scold you before she made you your favorite plate of food, telling you that you were studying and needed to keep your energy up, and how are you supposed to do that with just snacks? You needed real food.

It must have shown in your face because Satan’s gaze softened. “You really want to do this?” he asked.

You shrugged, trying to dispel the longing you suddenly felt for your mom. “It’s just harmless fun. I mean, I’m bigger than I used to be, but I was hoping you might put a charm on me to prevent me from getting seriously injured.” You bit your lip.

Satan sighed, torn between alleviating your homesickness and being responsible for your safety. However, you did bring up a good point. He could charm you so that you could not injure yourself. Looking at you clutching a cookie sheet, and looking at the stairs with longing, he made up his mind.

“Fiiiiiine,” he said slowly.

You squealed, and impromptu hugged him, causing the blonde to blush slightly. He took the cookie sheet from your hands, muttered a short incantation on it, and handed it to you. He raised his hands and waved them over you, muttering another incantation and your skin prickled at his vocalization. He then turned toward the stairs and said another incantation, which rounded the corners on the landing on the corner, so it resembled more the curve of a slide than a box.

“Okay, I think I got it. I put a cushioning charm on the cookie sheet, I put a defensive charm on you so that you just slide on any obstacle you encounter, and I rounded the corner of the stairs landing so that you don’t crash into the landing but slide onto the foyer floor,” Satan explained.

You put the cookie sheet on the top stair, sat on it, and then turned around to give the blonde a look. “One last favor, can you give me a push?” You batted your eyes at him.

Satan chuckled and gave you a push. You screamed WAAAARGGGG, as you slid down the stairs faster than you expected. You definitely would have crashed against the landing if he hadn’t curved the edges. Despite that, the cookie sheet still slid from underneath you, and you ended up in the middle of the foyer, laughing your ass off.

“Yuki, are you alright?” Satan rushed to you, patting at you to make sure that you were still unharmed.

“Those charms are a genius,” you said with a laugh. “It was great. You should give it a go!”

Satan looked at your sparkling eyes, your smiling mouth, and how you seemed to radiate happiness. “Maybe I should.”

“Well, I want to do it again but this time belly down,” you said running up the stairs.

“In that case, I definitely should go next,” Satan said with a smile, getting into the swing of things. He took the cookie sheet from your hands, sat on the top of the stairs. Giving you an expectant look, you wrinkled your nose, and pushed Satan down the stairs.

“Eeek!!” Satan screamed as he slid down the stairs. He managed to take the corner quicker than you did, which meant that he ended up bumping against the other set of stairs as he skidded on the foyer’s floor.

You raced down the stairs, just as the blonde picked himself up from the foyer floor. “My turn my turn my turn!” you chanted as you grabbed the cookie sheet in one hand, and Satan’s hand with the other to take him back up the stairs.

“What is Devildom is going on? I thought I heard someone screaming,” Levi said peering down the hallway. 

“Levi, check this out!” you said as you laid belly down on the cookie sheet. “Now gimme a push Satan!”

You can’t tell if your scream is louder than Levi’s panicked yell as he watched you plunge head down the stairs. He raced over where Satan looked complacently DESPITE HAVING JUST PUSHED YOU TO YOUR DEATH DOWN THE STAIRS. Levi then saw that you’re in the middle of the foyer floor on top of a cookie sheet, laughing hysterically.

“OMG YUKI YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!” Levi yelled at you. 

“Whatever Levi-chan. You gotta try this!” you said picking yourself up from the floor, and racing up the other set of stairs.

Levi turned to Satan, who was just looking enormously smug in Levi’s eyes. “Don’t worry. I charmed the cookie sheet, the stairs, and Yuki. They are perfectly safe,” the blonde demon smirked at his older brother.

“Satan is a champ,” you cooed as you slapped the cookie sheet at Levi’s chest. “I’ll ride with you if you don’t want to go alone.”

“Who is making all that racket? You woke me up from my nap,” Belphie paddled to where you were all congregated.

“Belphie, watch watch!” you thrilled as you forced Levi to sit down on the cookie sheet, and then basically cuddled him from behind to fit both of your asses on the cookie sheet. It was a tight squeeze. Levi was blushing horribly and stammering, and you just nodded at Satan, who gleefully pushed both of you.

Belphie watched for the two seconds where Levi screamed like a banshee, and your tinkling laugh as the two of you slid down the stairs. He quirked an eyebrow at Satan, who just smiled ruefully at the youngest demon.

You and Levi ended up in a pile on the floor, and the cookie sheet was looking worse for wear. You held up a hand to help Levi from up the floor and he looked a little disgruntled at you. “I’m not sure I forgive you for that,” he said, his orange eyes gleaming.

“Levi-chan, you’re my first two-fer on a cookie sheet. You wouldn’t want anyone else on that adventure, would you?” you said with a broad smile.

That seemed to pacify the Avatar of Envy. “Well, when you say it like that, clearly not.”

“Do you still have that Dev-Pro?” you asked, referring to the Devildom version of Go-Pro. 

Levi brightened. “Sure do. Let me guess you want to film yourself sliding down?”

“Bingo!” you said, shooting Levi a gratified smile.

“It’s in my room, let me go get it!” Levi chirped back, headed toward his room once he made the top of the stairs.

“Want a turn?” you turned to Belphie with the cookie sheet.

“Pass,” Belphie said with a lazy smile.

“Lazy,” you shot back.

“You know, there’s other stairs in this house. I think the stairs from the attic are longer than these,” Belphie pointed out.

***

Lucifer returned to the House of Lamentation, which was strangely silent. There was an abandoned cookie sheet on the foyer floor, which he picked up and put back into the kitchen. As he made his way through the house, he started to hear muffled yelling. Tracing the noise back to its source, he found Belphie, Beel, and Levi down by the attic stairs except Beel was wearing an orange helmet, with a cookie sheet between his hands, and Levi while also wearing a purple helmet was typing furiously on his phone. 

Lucifer was about to ask about what was happening, when he heard whoops and yells, with Mammon slid down the attic stairs on a cookie sheet but with a yellow helmet on his head. He moved quickly from the bottom of the stairs to yell CLEAR up the stairs. He heard you yell out GERONIMO and appeared also with a helmet on your head with a DevPro attached, sliding belly down on a cookie sheet. Once you made it down the stairs, you got up and handed your helmet to Levi, who took the DevPro off your helmet, and you and your brothers huddled around the camera watching the film. Satan made his way down the stairs and was about to hail all of you when he finally noticed Lucifer standing there observing everything.

“Uhhhhh,” Satan cleared his throat.

Lucifer’s patience ran out. “What is the meaning of this?” he thundered, as you and his brothers whipped your heads up from your huddle to look at him.

“Lucifer, I can TOTALLY explain,” you said to the very disapproving face of the eldest demon brother. 


	2. This opportunity only comes once in a lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Solomon double-dog dares you to slide down the RAD stairs?  
> Of course you accept. Your honor is at stake!

The next morning, you could barely keep your eyes open in RAD. That’s because despite you explaining the genesis of this particular adventure, Lucifer still decided he needed to lecture all of you. Five minutes into his lecture, you raised your hand, and he actually looked incredulously at you. Frankly, his behavior was over the top but you weren’t about to embarrass him in front of his brothers. So you simply asked “Why?”

This caused Lucifer to dismiss his brothers, who had varying reactions. Asmo, who hadn’t been involved at all, just sauntered off after giving you a pitying look, Mammon and Levi both dragged their feet as usual and shot you worried glances. Beel and Belphie both shot you warning looks. Funnily enough, Satan was also reluctant to leave you and Lucifer had to physically throw him out. 

Which led to what you believe was probably one of the most infuriating hours of Lucifer’s immortal existence. You proceeded to debate safety (you were charmed, the stairs were charmed, the cookie sheets were charmed), the inappropriateness of using stairs as slides (yes, but it was inside the House), the utter lack of dignity (defined by who? More importantly, in the privacy of your own home, albeit temporary, who gets to make the rules?), and the sheer level of chaos (really? How is this a surprise?). Lucifer was scandalized and you were pissed about being lectured for having fun. You hadn’t broken any laws, didn’t kill anyone, didn’t magic anyone for nefarious or exploitative purposes, hadn’t actually made a public exhibit of yourself (although that may be changing since Levi was probably busy uploading your DevPro videos to DevilTube as you’re busy engaged in a pointless debate). Lucifer tried to say that he was responsible for your behavior as a human exchange student, and you rebutted that you were responsible for your own behavior, and you can’t see how having fun, in a private residence, doing something harmless was in fact damaging to Diavolo’s precious exchange program.

It went on for hours. You refused to back down on principle. Lucifer probably would have throttled you if you hadn’t pointed out that any party that engages in _ad hominem attacks_ or physical attacks has IN FACT, lost the argument already, which meant you used Lucifer’s own pride against him. 

Which you try not to do, _except when Lucifer is being a dick_. At which point, you’re not putting up with that level of BS.

He let you go a little after midnight. 

You went to bed a little after one, because you spent close to an hour VENTING on the phone about it. Typically, you wouldn’t have bothered with the call, but this was honestly too much, and at that point, all of your reasonableness had been eaten up by your stupid fight with Lucifer.

You put your arms on the desk, and tried to bury your face in them. Maybe you could find Belphie after this class and have him sneak you into one of his favorite nap spots? 

“Psst, Yuki, you feeling okay?” Solomon said, poking you with his pen from behind you.

“Leave it, Solo. Literally. I’m too tired right now,” you muttered.

“Lucifer lecture you about the cookie sheets?” Solomon smirked at you.

You turned around to glare at Solomon bleary-eyed. “I don’t care what Asmo told you. I didn’t get lectured. That would mean there was something wrong with what I did, which there isn’t. _Lucifer and I had a fight_.”

“Oooh, so you’re not scared of Lucifer then?” Solomon teased.

You shot Solomon a look. “Solo, don’t make me become the only human exchange program student in Devildom. Today is not the day.”

“You’re so cute when you’re riled up,” Solomon chuckled. 

“Worship at my altar and drop dead then,” you snarked back. Lack of sleep definitely made all your filters go away.

“Definitely riled up. This should make things interesting,” Solomon mused. “Yuki, I double dog dare you to slide down the RAD academy stairs today.”

_Oh no he didn’t._

“Did I hear you right, Solo? You just **double dog** dared me?” you asked incredulously.

Solomon nodded solemnly. “Only to prove that you were not, in fact, lectured by Lucifer.”

“You’re on, Harry Potter,” you said staring at him dead in the eye. “But I have three conditions.”

“Sure, what are they?” Solomon said. 

“One - it has to be after class, two - the cookie sheet has to come from the House of Lamentation, and three - I get to summon Satan so he can cast the same charms,” you fired back.

“Agreed,” Solomon said promptly. “Meet you at the great staircase in two hours.”

You nodded solemnly, and pulled your DDD out to start sending out texts to some of your favorite demons.

***

You met Solomon at the top of the RAD entrance stairs after classes let out. Two hours were enough time for you to get in touch with: Beel, who didn’t even ask why you needed a cookie sheet from the house; Levi, since you needed to borrow his DevPro again, and Satan, who tried to discourage you initially from coming through with the dare, but ultimately caved to your wheedling. Satan however insisted that you not only wear a helmet but elbow and knee pads as well since he was not going to be able to modify any of the architecture of the building. You didn’t text Mammon or Asmo until ten minutes before this is supposed to go down because _they simply can’t keep a secret to save their lives._ You didn’t text Belphie because you told Beel let Belphie know. 

“I see you came prepared,” Solomon greeted you and your get-up.

“I’m crazy, not suicidal, Solo,” you said coolly, with the house’s cookie sheet under your armpit. Beel and Belphie had decorated to make sure that everyone knew it was a cookie sheet from the House of Lamentation and not from the school cafeteria. It now sported a HOUSE OF LAMENTATION in bold print in the center, and what appeared to be sigils on the sides. You recognized Beel’s, Belphie’s, Mammon’s, Levi’s, and Satan’s. 

“Oooh, I want to put mine on it too!” Asmo squealed, taking the cookie sheet and tracing his finger, adding his sigil to the cookie sheet. Satan took that opportunity to cast the same cushioning charm on the cookie sheet, and then turned to mutter the same incantation that made you slide off things, while Solomon looked desperately like he was trying not to eavesdrop.

Beel and Mammon were positioned at the bottom of the stairs. It made sense that the fastest and second fastest demon would be there as safeguards. Mammon was ready to intercept you in at the bottom of the stairs, and Beel looked like he was a goalie that you were aiming for between two arches several feet away.

“All set! And here’s a kiss good luck!” Asmo said, kissing you on the cheek. You grinned at the Avatar of Lust, who looked like he was ready to summon pom poms to cheer you on. Levi attached the Devil-Pro on your helmet, and gave you a thumbs up, bringing his phone to video you as well.

“Let’s do this, before we get into trouble,” Satan muttered, pulling you away from Levi and Asmo.  
  


You get down on the cookie sheet, and already pre-agreed, Satan gave you a push. You wouldn’t have trusted Solomon to give you a push down the stairs. You yelled “FOR SCIENCE” as you flew down the stairs. It was a better slide than the attic stairs because it was slightly longer. You however managed to slide off the cookie sheet once you hit the landing, and Mammon ran toward you and Beel ran to intercept the errant cookie sheet. After all, you wouldn’t want to accidentally hurt anyone at RAD with a cookie sheet careening toward them like a scythe.

But as luck would have it, that was just as Lucifer was walking by on his way to the Student Council Room.

_Well, crap._

“I believe we already had a discussion about how inappropriate this activity was. I can’t believe you dared to defy me so boldly,” Lucifer fumed as he went down the stairs, and you picked yourself off the floor, and accepting Mammon’s hand to get up.

“But I didn’t Lucifer!” you said brightly with a smile, radiating innocence. It was the only way you were going to get out of this one alive. Mammon’s grip on your hand stayed, as he tried to provide some moral support.

You took your other hand and pulled a wrinkled parchment form from your left uniform pocket and handed it to Lucifer. “I filled out the permission form 5719 in triplicate per the regulations.”

Lucifer quickly scanned the piece of parchment. “There is no permission form 5719,” he accused.

“There is now,” you said serenely. “I believe it was created expressly for this purpose.”

Lucifer, clearly irritated, is about to say something else, when Lord Diavolo comes strolling by. “Am I too late? Did I miss it?”

“I just started the experiment, Your Royal Mightiness. I just did the control run,” you chirped.

“Excellent! I was hoping that I hadn’t missed the whole thing. Do you still require volunteers?” Lord Diavolo inquired.

You blinked. Bless Lord Diavolo’s chaotic rolls. You had spent an hour last night venting at him about your fight with Lucifer, because while you appreciate being placed in the care of the House of Lamentation and Lucifer was the head of his house, you were still a human being, and in control of your own behavior. So when you were texting the brothers for preparations, you had also texted Lord Diavolo to get his express permission to slide down the academy’s entrance stairs. In writing.

Lord Diavolo outdid himself and created an official permission form. You wrote down “science experiment” as the reason for needing to slide down the stairs, and outlined the “safety” precautions that would be present for the endeavour.

“Great! I would like to show my support!” Lord Diavolo enthused before Lucifer could interrupt. You handed Lord Diavolo your pink helmet, which he waved a hand on, and it immediately enlarged to fit his head. Beel, who had been standing next to Mammon, meekly extended the cookie sheet to Lord Diavolo, who inspected it.

“Diavolo, I don’t think this is appropriate at all,” Lucifer said exasperated.

“Oooh! It’s got sigils! Let me add mine as well!” Lord Diavolo said instead, waving his finger and adding a very intricate sigil to the underside. Solomon looked like he wanted to faint. “Nonsense Lucifer. This is a great cultural exchange, on top of being an actual science experiment. Yuki is recording both the physical experience from a human and demon perspective. And I believe Levi has been videoing and timing each of the runs as well.”  
  


You glanced up in surprise at Levi, who just gave you a thumbs up, and you had to laugh. Of course he was recording the times. Levi was obsessed with speed runs, and he would have wanted to time everyone.

“By all means, tell me more about the reason for this science experiment,” Lucifer asked silkily.

“We just wanted to conduct an experiment about speed and mass, and the assumptions of human mass density versus demon mass density,” Satan said glibly from the top of the stairs, smirking maliciously at his older brother. 

Huh. That was news to you. But trust Satan to come up with a plausible intellectual sounding reason. Satan winked at you.

Lord Diavolo had taken the momentary distraction to climb up the stairs, and was now sitting on the cookie sheet on the top of the stairs. “Excellent. Now who is going to give me a push?” he asked with a wide grin.

There was a moment of silence when everyone paused to think about the responsibility of PUSHING THE HEIR OF DEVILDOM DOWN THE STAIRS. “I’ll do it!” you volunteered, beating Belphie to the punch, who just scowled at you. You shot Belphie a glare. You weren’t going to contaminate the purity of the cookie sheet stair sliding with petty revenge.

Lord Diavolo’s “WHEEEE!” of glee is mad loud. Levi’s video of Lord Diavolo going down the academy stairs _on a cookie sheet_ immediately goes viral.

***

Lucifer and the other student council officers are flooded with demons having filled out permission form #5719, all of who want to also be granted permission to slide down the stairs. In fact, there are so many that Lord Diavolo opts to allow for one afternoon free-for-all, where from the hours of 5 to 9 PM, the stairs can be slided on by any number of items, as some demons proposed using plastic trays, there was a request to use a canoe, and a unicorn floaty. 

That designated afternoon, you and the brothers (except for Lucifer, seems to be suffering from a massive migraine) are all present with helmets and your own cookie sheets. Each brother has put their own name/designed their own, and you have promised you would sign each of the cookie sheets once you slid down the stairs using them. 

The minute that the other demons see that you are signing cookie sheets post-slide, it starts a mound of requests. You slide down plastic trays, a canoe, the unicorn floaty, a giant upside mushroom cap, and kiddie pool. You sign each of them with your signature. But what you see is that there are demons that are sliding on each others’ designated “cookie sheet” and that there is a trading of items to sign them. 

You find Luke, and cajole him to slide down the stairs on your cookie sheet. He’s mildly scandalized about using a cookie sheet as a sled, but yells happily on his way down. He ends up borrowing Beel’s cookie sheet afterwards, after signing your cookie sheet.

By the end of the night, your cookie sheet is sporting a pretty cool collection of demonic sigils, and two angelic ones. There’s a sigil that you don’t recognize and you stare at your cookie sheet. 

“Need help identifying anything?” Solomon offered.

“Actually yes, have you seen that one before?” you pointed out the strange to you sigil.

Solomon’s eyes widened. “That’s Barbatos’s sigil.”

_Cheeky bastard._ When did Barbatos borrow your cookie sheet? Also, how did you possibly miss Barbatos sliding down the damn stairs?

***

“Look at this Lucifer! It’s just marvelous,” Lord Diavolo said happily during the event, motioning at the number of demons participating.

Lucifer looked sourly at the shenanigans. “I’m thrilled you’re thrilled, sire.”

“But Lucifer, look at all the positive interactions! Demons are doing something silly and fun. More importantly, they are sharing their personal belongings with each other. It’s been eons since we have seen this level of cooperation without bloodshed or igniting blood feuds,” Lord Diavolo waxed rhapsodically.

“As you say, my lord,” Lucifer murmured. Clearly Lord Diavolo was taken with the idea. 

“And it's great stress relief right before exams start! Here is everyone being social at RAD!” Lord Diavolo continued.

Lucifer started to tune Lord Diavolo out. Yes yes yes, this was a brilliant ploy, harmonic and clearly of a divine providence. So many positives, and so little drawbacks, if any. If one managed to overlook the sheer level of chaos created. Frankly, demons on cookie sheets, what is next? Angels dancing on pinheads?

  
  


“I just hope this is not too distracting from studying, since midterms are just around the corner,” Lucifer uttered.

***

It turned out that exam averages were up 8% over last year’s. Lord Diavolo was thrilled. He immediately suggested implementing a quarterly slide session from the stairs.

Lucifer vetoed the suggestion with extreme prejudice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBH, the star of this fic may be Lord Diavolo.

**Author's Note:**

> Just some lighthearted fun.


End file.
